N385 - Seeing Sideways - What did you see?

For our second assignment, we were all given a few minutes to run around the IUPUI campus and try to find something that no one else in class would find. We then told what it was we saw to the professor and she compiled them into a single document. It was then our job to read the list and choose something that was seen and "interpret" it in some way.

I read one that said, "A footprint on the ceiling." My original plan was to get some rope, a ladder, and some muddy boots and try to recreate that on film, but I had neither the time nor energy to undertake such an endeavor this week. (I started a new job and as a result, a new sleep schedule.)

Helmet's Helpful Hints: After working the graveyard shift (11pm-5am) for almost three years, transitioning to a normal (8am-4pm) job is hard as hell. While you may not be tired at 10pm and you really want to finish the World of Warcraft raid you are currently in, just know that at 7am you will hate EVERYTHING.

So, I went back and looked at the list again and nothing really popped out at me. I mean, I can draw pretty well, so I could have drawn "A red truck with a burnt out headlight" or "Three trashcans spaced 5 feet apart," but where is the fun in that.

Then, just as I was about to give up, I read: "A nick on my cell phone." I don't know what controls my Smartass button, but sure enough Smartass mode was activated and I literally said outloud, "A Nick on your cell phone? Nick who? Nick Lachey? Nick Cannon?"

Bing-O!

Google Images, Photoshop, and a couple minutes of tinkering and I bring you this:

THE NICK ON MY CELL PHONE GALLERY OF AWESOMENESS!!!!1

























































































Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

That is all.

N385 - Seeing Sideways - Day 2

In this class, we talked a lot about rules and why we have them. Obviously, we don't always agree with a rule or see it's purpose, but I think for the most part everyone understands that they are there for a reason. I was trying to rack my brain for a time when a rule was keeping me from doing something that I wanted to do, and the first thing that popped into my mind was "Free the Cheese."

I'm positive that none of you know what the hell I'm talking about, so allow me to explain:

Both of my parents work full-time, Monday-Friday, every week. As a result, neither of them were capable of watching me or taking me to school during the ages in which I was too young to drive and too young to stay home by myself. This meant daycare. From age 4 to age 12.

It wasn't such a bad thing, really. Daycare is where I met 3 guys who are still my good friends to this very day, and it is also where I was introduced to video games, which is why I am now a New Media student.

Anyways, on to the point. One day during the summer one of my friends, Dean, brought in a single slice of processed American cheese. Why? I don't have a damn clue. One of the teachers, Mr. Jim, decided to confiscate the cheese. Why? I don't have a damn clue. Collectively, me and my friends decided to fight back. Why? I don't have a damn clue. But when three things like that just so happen to happen, hilarity will ensue.

Mr. Jim took the cheese and put it in the refrigerator upstairs. (Upstairs was where we had lunch, and was off limits except at lunchtime.) Thinking it was taken care of, Mr. Jim went back to doing, whatever it was he did around there. (The guy was the cook, but he was there all day... I really have no idea what his purpose was other than between the hours of 11am and 1pm while he was preparing and serving food.)

Boy was he in for a shock. Let me explain that the layout of the building was such that there were not one, but two staircases that led upstairs, and they were on opposite ends of the building. This being said, if one staircase was being watched, the other was more likely than not, not. Exploiting this, we snuck upstairs the back way and began our hunt for the cheese.

Before long, Mr. Jim realized we were missing and stormed upstairs, catching us just as we discovered the location of our imprisoned cheese. Dean snagged it and sprinted for the stairs. The rest of us tried to hold back Mr. Jim as long as possible to give Dean a chance to... get away? I mean, where was he going to go? We couldn't leave... we were like, 10 years old.

But alas, we were small, and Mr. Jim was able to bypass us and grab Dean moments later. The cheese was recaptured, and another teacher, Ms. Deb, was enlisted to guard the other staircase. Knowing that our chances of sneaking back upstairs now were basically shot to hell, we had to rethink our plan.

We decided on a good ol' fashioned protest. We took markers, crayons and paper and made probably a hundred signs. We went around telling our story to all the other kids at daycare and rallied up probably 20 sympathizers. We gave them each a stack of signs and told them to start posting them all over the building. They read: "FREE THE CHEESE!"

Within 30 minutes of giving them the green light, the walls were plastered with our propaganda. Mr. Jim and Ms. Deb (foolishly) left their posts in a feeble attempt to stop the chaos. They were running around frantically, throwing kids in time out, and ripping papers off the walls. This was our chance.

We rushed upstairs, threw open the refrigerator, grabbed the cheese and ran back downstairs. I'll never forget seeing Dean holding the cheese triumphantly over his head, huge grin etched on his face, walking through the building to raucous cheers and applause. (Not from the teachers, obviously, but I am not exaggerating when I tell you that, by this point, pretty much every child at that daycare was emotionally invested in this cause. I mean, we were bored... every day. We had given these kids excitement! Even if it was only for a few minutes, they were hyped. We were their Gods.)

At this point, the rest of the memory is pretty hazy... How it was resolved, I don't rightly know. I wish I could tell you that the teachers gave up and we got to play(?) with our cheese the rest of the day, but I can guarantee you that it was re-confiscated and we didn't get it back again. We probably ended up in time out, got our parents called, and then got lectured when we went home for the day. But, damn it, what a day!

I didn't type this story out of my head for any reason other than to share a funny, relevant moment of my life with you, but it actually speaks volumes about how I feel about rules and/or laws today: If a rule serves no purpose, other than to restrict my freedoms or make the rule maker feel more powerful, I find it stupid and I will not follow it.

This philosophy has gotten me into trouble with teachers and parents, but I think it has also gotten my point across to them at times. Having rules just to have them is silly, and enforcing them is sillier! What were a couple of 10 year old kids going to do with a slice of cheese that was so horrible? Surely it can't be any worse than what happened when Mr. Jim took it from us!

And really, it was taking it from us that made us want it so bad! If Mr. Jim had left us alone, we would have either eaten it outright, or played with it for all of 2 minutes before we decided it was stupid and trashed it. In this scenario, a rule was created to prevent a possible bad situation, and in turn, it created an even worse situation.

I'm not suggesting that everyone go do whatever they want, break all the rules, and tell law enforcement officers to blow it out their ass. (Seriously, don't.) But you should definitely question what is going on around you. If people tell you how to act and you don't question why, you are ultimately just a slave to others.

This is the Almighty Helmet, signing off.

N385 - Seeing Sideways - Eggsplosion

The first assignment for this class, while simple in concept, was quite difficult for me. It was just this: "Do something with an egg."

Yup... My thought process went something like this:

i could throw it at something. no. that's dumb. anyone can throw an egg. well maybe i could throw it out of my car. that would be cool. no shit. how am i supposed to get pictures or video of that. maybe i could make a catapult or... a really big rubber band and see how far i can fling it. no that's not cool enough.

After a few days I still hadn't come up with anything, so I decided to see what my friends had to say. I got "throw it at someone," "freeze it," and "drop it from the top of a building." I still didn't want to throw it at anything, and dropping it would be cool, but not very creative (and possibly illegal depending on what building I chose). Freezing it was a cool idea, but I wanted to see something exciting, and freezing is slow and dull and... yeah.

Finally, something clicked. Instead of freezing it, I was going to light that son of a bitch on fire. I went to my parents house (I live in an apartment and a flaming egg wasn't going to be acceptable on my second story balcony) and went straight to work. The process was straightforward: I doused the egg with lighter fluid and held a lighter to it.

The results were far from impressive. Nothing (not even the lighter fluid) lit on fire. The egg just crackled a bit and the shell got a bit... dry looking... where I had held the lighter for so long. Defeated, I went back and side and started getting ready to leave.

As I was getting some things out of one of my bedroom drawers, there it was: my collection of bottle rockets and firecrackers. A light bulb (or perhaps more accurately, an atom bomb) went off in my head. If I couldn't light it on fire I was going to make it explode.

Helmet's Helpful Hints: Always stock up on firecrackers, bottle rockets and roman candles around 4th of July. You'll never know when you are going to need them.

I gathered up a handful of each and some tape and got right to work. I taped six M-150 firecrackers around it and began trying to line up the wicks so they would go off simultaneously. When I was done I went outside and lit it. I failed... I was only able to get one of the firecrackers lit before I had to back away, and it was... mediocre at best.

Damn it all! I would not be defeated by an egg! I went back in the house and retrieved an egg from the refrigerator. This was it... the one egg. I was going out with a bang. (Pun not intended, but somewhat unavoidable. I apologize.) Thought process:

how many bottle rockets would i need to make it fly. that would be epic. i can only line up about six of the wicks... shit. this isn't going to take off. maybe i can light more than one group of six. i'm not going to lose my hand because of an egg. ok. think. well if it won't fly it needs to blow up good. real good. ok. got it. add firecrackers as well.

This thing was beautiful. Was it going to fly? Not a snowball's chance in Hell, but it was going to do something, and I was excited about that. I carried it outside like a new father carrying his hemophiliac infant. I set it carefully down on a stump and did my best to get all of the wicks lit.

Success! I backed up as quickly as possible, trying not to slip in the snow or fall into the creek that was right next to me. (For these reasons, the video I shot is not the best, but if I ever attempt this again, I'll do better. Pinky Promise!)

The bottle rockets shot off with a fffffffooooooooosh!, but the egg didn't budge. Then they exploded almost immediately before the firecrackers went off. cccccuuuurack-ack-crack-ck-ack! I could not have been more happy. Egg was everywhere, and the shell was awesome. All the egg was gone, but it was almost all still in one piece.

Sigh... A job well done, if I do say so myself. As I alluded to earlier, there are videos, but they aren't that great... I'll upload them later for your viewing pleasure.

N385 - Seeing Sideways - Day 1

So, today was the first day of classes for my Spring semester at IUPUI. My second (and final) class of the day was Seeing Sideways! with Beth Lykins. I wasn't sure what to expect when I got there, but it turned out to be a pretty cool experience.

We sat in a big circle and turned out the lights. (Not sure what was up with the "no lights" thing, but whatever. Mood lighting.) Then we went around and told the class our names and an interesting story from our childhood. Then we went over the Syllabus and all that necessary but boring shit. At this point, everything was pretty standard for the first day of a New Media Arts and Science course.

Things first got a little weird when we took a 15 minute break and Beth told us that everyone (seriously, EVERYONE) had to leave the room and that no one was allowed to get out of their rolly chairs. Reason? I don't know, but you don't have to tell me twice. I was out the door and speeding along the hallways in no time. I contemplated seeing if I could roll my chair down the stairs, thought better of it, and decided instead to make a lap or two around the upper level. (It's basically a big rectangle with pretty long hallways, so I was able to pick up some serious speed.)

On my second lap, a couple of students who weren't in the class, but who were seating in some chairs waiting for their next class to start, were giving me weird looks. I smashed into a wall in front of them to stop myself and then gave them a very serious look and said, "This is for class." One of them acted like I hadn't even spoken and the other shook his head disapprovingly. Some people! I was having a good time and they were acting like I just punched an elderly man in the balls.

Anywho, I eventually made my way back into class and everyone reformed their circle. We started discussing what was considered "art" and where New Media fell into that. We watched a film by Blu, called "MUTO," and also listened to John Cage's "4'33."





Afterward, we continued our discussion. For me, art is making an emotion or a feeling and making it something someone else can see or hear or feel. Good art evokes an emotional response from the person audience. If I attended one of John Cage's concerts (and, presumably, paid money) to hear him play "4'33," the only emotion he would evoke from me would be anger! Not because of something in the "music," but because he had to audacity to play nothing and to think that I would just overlook that as an artistic stunt.

Do I think it was a bold statement? Absolutely! Was it art? Hell, no! Kanye West calling George Bush a racist on live television was a bold statement, but it wasn't any more artistic than my last bowel movement. (Which wasn't too shabby, if I do say so myself.) My point is that nobody is running out to buy a "4'33" CD and no one (without a lot of money to throw away) is going to buy a ticket to hear him play it live.

I understand that how much money an album makes or how much someone is willing to pay for a painting doesn't show how much artistic merit a piece has, but it does say something! We are willing to spend money on things that we love; things that make us laugh, cry, think, etc. Cage's piece doesn't do any of those things for me (or anyone I know, for that matter), and that's why I cannot possibly think of it as art.

Who knows, though? Maybe I am dead wrong. If so, I have a whole trunk full of "4'33" CD's if anyone is interested. $10 bucks apiece.

N385 - Seeing Sideways - Expectations

I saw the assignment to make this blog entry on the 9th (the day before the first day of the actual class), but I didn't know how to talk about my expectations for this class, when I really had no idea what it was about. I have since read the syllabus and attended the first "lecture," if it could really be called that.

So let's get to it: Seeing Sideways! is a class which focuses on "fostering creative exploration in New Media." While I am not entirely sure what that entails, I can easily infer that it will be exciting, unpredictable, and crazy. (I've had a class with Beth before, and I know how she can be. Not to mention some of the absurd rumors that I've heard from friends who have had this class previously.)

I hope this class will inspire me to do some things that I would not have originally thought to do. I want to get some ideas for my upcoming Capstone Project that will be due at the end of my next year. I also hope to meet new and interesting people who might be willing to work on projects or endeavors with me in the future. All in all, it should be quite an experience.